The Songs That Tell The Story Of You And Me

 

This morning I’m in a reflective and sad mood, thinking of the past. Drenched in regret, knowing that there will never be a you and me. Music has always been a big part of my life. It was a part of ours. It always helped me through the rough, tough and darkest hours. The sadder the song, the more I saw myself in it. Someone else knew how it felt to go through what I was going through. They put it in words in a way I never could. Partners in misery, the songs were mine for you.

The line, there’s a curse on my heart, I’ll never love again, hits me hard. It’s so raw and deep, an open wound that bleeds memories. I will never see you again,  Alabama Highway took you back home. I can visit your stone. But it wasn’t me who was there with you when you returned. It crushes me. I saw a white rose by your grave. That tore me.

The artists I have picked won’t be known by most, but they are some of my favorites. I never tire of them.

I believe you wanted me, but this says it all; you never wanted me. I gave my all to you, but all you did was take. I don’t remember you giving. It didn’t matter. I thought I was the one. You told me that I was, but you never meant a word. I hung on what you said, knowing the ship was sinking, and you’d let me go, and you did. It was so easy for you Still after what you put me through, I still clung.

I’ve found myself doing just that; standing there thinking, how I still want you, and nobody else. I still hear your voice, and yes you made me a fool of me. That’s the price of love. I would do it all over again, and again for just five minutes.

Love hurts, well it shouldn’t, but it always seems to bring a lot of pain. We used to listen to  Gram, and Steve together. Two good ole Southern boys.

I let myself be your martyr. I hung on your lovers cross until I couldn’t take it any more. I wonder if she was a martyr too. Did she cry as much as I did for you? Was she your Joan of Arc? If I would have kept playing your martyr, where would we be today? IF I could go back, I would, because love has no pride.

I built my world around you, that was so true. You were my world. I was afraid of changing too. I held on as long as I could,  but I had to let you go,  even though deep down inside I never wanted to. I always, always thought we would get back together.

You were my first and you cut me deepest. I tried to love again, but I only see you. I only feel you. All these years, it’s always been you. Did you ever think of me at all, why did you have to call me after we split?  That made it even harder, hearing your voice. Was it a game? You sounded sad, but I’m sure you cheered back up. You had her by your side.

No, I can’t help it if I’m still in love with you. Was she happy by your side? What did she do, that I didn’t?

You could get away with anything, just because I was in love with you.

I can still remember the day we met. I can see the look on your face. Once you left, I remember going back to that place, and just looking at the tree that you told me you had fell out of. I hoped that there was a trace of you left there. I could go there now, and still feel your presence.

I did my best, but I don’t think you even tried. It was a beautiful lie. I do pretend to fly back to you.

There were SO many nights, you did make me cry and so many lonely nights. Yes, you were off getting high, among other more painful things. No, you never said goodbye, so much unsaid. I don’t think you ever missed me. It’s amazing how fast you forgot me. I never forgot you. You said I was stuck with you forever. You were right. You never left, even though you’re long gone. Did you ever love her, did you love anyone? I just wanted to know why you did what you did, and  I will never have your answer. Would you even tell me?

No he never will hear me crying. I did cry a river for you. I still do.

How many times did I watch the sun come up, waiting for you to come home? You did lead me on. Moonlit warm nights alone. I believed you, I was only fooling myself. I hated you for what you did, and didn’t do, but I couldn’t stop loving you.

There were times I would forget for awhile, but those times didn’t last and then you’d come creeping back into my memories, you’re just buried too deep. What a fool, that’s so true. It’s probably been more than a million tears. I love you yesterday, today, tomorrow and always.

It doesn’t matter anymore, but it does and always will. You went your way and I went mine. The last time I saw you, you were using the name you never used when I was with you. Did changing your name, change you, did it change the past?  Was that all it took? A fresh start for you. I couldn’t start again.

I’m always going to be falling to pieces. I don’t want to see you. I only want to see you. I don’t want to hear your name, that’s all I hear is your name. I hear your voice, that doesn’t go away.

 

When we broke up, I remember this song,  it was hard to listen to, because it was true.

I would have done it all again, even knowing it would end.

 

 

©2017 Kathleen Stefani and Combing  The Catacombs. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the site’s author is strictly forbidden.

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22 thoughts on “The Songs That Tell The Story Of You And Me

    1. Thanks Sheryl, the artists that I like aren’t that well known, but I like those kind. They play by their own rules and I have always related to that and respect them for their integrity. I wrote this piece in a very depressed mood. Maybe it is too personal, bit I just felt like letting go of so much I have held back.

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  1. Yes Sheryl it has somewhat. I know it’s mot healthy to hang on to something or someone that is gone. There are just times that it hits me, and I really feel so down. The depressing music, actually helps. None of these songs are happy.

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  2. So you like ballads? Me, too. I love the images they call up, the stories told and, of course, the longing in the voices. Like you, I enjoy some country. But I cut my teeth on what they used to call “folk rock”. In my teens and 20s, I knew the words to all the forlorn Simon & Garfunkel songs. Of course, you’ve included several standards: Cat Stevens’ “First Cut Is the Deepest”, Gram Parson’s “Love Hurts”, Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide”, and Jim Croce’s “Lover’s Cross” (the version by Melanie was new to me). Nice retrospective.

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    1. Yes for that particular post, I did ballads. I love ballads. I l0ve folk, folk rock, country rock, and classic rock. I used to listen to country, but really don’t anymore. I like roots rock, or Americana. I love Jim Croce. I liked this cover by Melanie, because it’s from a womans perspective, and this rendition feels very heartfelt to me.
      I couldn’t even list everyone that I like. I was really in a depressed mood when I did that yesterday. I was thinking of taking it down. I like acoustic instruments and good lyrics. I can also get into psychedelic as well.

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  3. Thank you, I’m glad that you liked the songs. I hope they turned you on to some lesser known artists.This is about a former boyfriend of mine. Music really played an important part of the relationship and for me afterward. Thanks so much.

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      1. I can not get link to work.

        Odd. From here the embedded youtube clip works like a charm.

        Try going to youtube and typing “i am the ride chris smither” (no quotes) into the search box. Should be top of the list.

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      2. I am the ride is his most obviously Buddhist song, but I think I’ve spotted a few others as well.
        He’s nominated All we need to know and Hey, hey, hey feels like another one to me.
        Not that his secular songs aren’t equally good, of course.

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      3. Ok, I have heard of him. I completely forgot about him. Steve Young was a Buddhist, they probably crossed paths at some point. He was bigger in Europe than here.
        Chris is extremely gifted at writing, singing and playing. The kind of music these guys play, resonates with me like no other,

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      4. Ok, I have heard of him.I completely forgot about him. Steve Young was a Buddhist, they probably crossed paths at some point. These guys were bigger in Europe than here. All these guys came out after Dylan, they were the second wave of folkies. He wrote Slow Surprises, a song that Emmylou Harris recorded, and she chooses covers very well. He is a gifted writer, player and vocalist. I like his style. I had some stuff by him many years ago, but I had to get rid of it when I was moving. I had some of his earlier stuff. I had forgotten about him, for a long time I didn’t listen to music at all. I didn’t keep up with it all all, but all these guys I like are before my time, so I only discovered them later.
        They are much better than the artists that are performing now. I like some of the Americana-roots artists. They are the only current musicians that I actually listen to besides these old timers.

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